Sales Letter and Copywriting Clinic

Before I start, let me say this is an example from our archives.  So if the ‘technology’ references seem somewhat archaic, bear with me.

You see, the copy structure and approach is the message.

This was an actual sales letter (left) inviting me to attend the release of a new software product.




You will I trust get value from being an observer to the marketing blunders this company made.

Not surprisingly, I changed the name of the company.  The REAL company is one you’d recognise immediately.

Before you go on, scan the letter they sent out to who knows how many thousand ‘prospects’.

The Curse of Assumption

Okay, so the REAL company is a big brand.  You'll know it.  But does that mean you know as much about their XANADU 3000 as they assume you do?  And will you care?

A huge mistake in writing a sales letter (or any communication) is assuming that the prospect will care about the business, the service or product, or that they'll even stop what they’re doing long enough to try to peak their interest.  They won't!

Your reader is at the wastebasket 

Write your letter picturing the prospect reading your letter by their wastebasket.  Or they have their finger poised on the delete key.  You have to create a letter that makes it impossible for them to discard it.

And DO NOT assume that because you live and breathe your business, and your products and services, that someone ‘out there’ in the marketplace will too.

Most likely, when your prospect woke up this morning, they were NOT thinking about you!  And they’ll go through the day and go to bed at night, and chances are, they won’t have given your business a thought.

Coming at your communications from that perspective, it makes you realise that you have to work many times harder to grab their attention and keep it past those critical first few seconds, and then to motivate them enough to ACT on what you want them to do.

Turn the table on yourself ... 

How many sales letters have you binned?  How many emails have you instantly deleted?

Are your sales letters stopping your prospects in their tracks and commanding their attention?  Or are they rambling on about how good your company is, or that your computer division was established in 1984?

Now, just in case you feel this letter example ISN’T a sales letter, and that it's an invitation … and therefore doesn't need to 'sell' ... rest assured its objective IS to ‘sell’ something.   Its objective is to ‘sell’ the reader on giving up two hours to come to an event, reorganising their diary, and braving the traffic snarls to get there.  It IS a big sales task.  And that's not even the first sale.  The first ‘sale’ is getting your reader to stop and read your first paragraph.  Make sense?

The 'WHO CARES? test'

Whenever you write anything, make sure you give it the ‘WHO CARES? test' first.  If it doesn’t compellingly grab the reader’s attention, hold it with riveting advantages and benefits that demonstrate how you will help them to save money, increase productivity, look younger, feel fitter, get more sales, increase their profits, or whatever, then it WON’T pass the 'who CARES' test.  Don’t waste your time sending it until you’ve re-worked it massively.

How to fix this letter

Here’s the irony.  The XANADU 3000 may indeed be some amazing new innovation that will revolutionise your entire working environment.  It may quadruple your productivity.  It may cut costs by 48%, or enable you to cut three weeks off your delivery schedules ... or any one of a myriad of benefits.

But from that letter, you ’d sure NEVER know it.

The letter suffers from ‘product peddling’.

That is, it is ‘we’ focused.  It’s all about the writer’s fascination with their company and their product, NOT what that product will do for you or me.

As well, the letter suffers from bland generalisation syndrome.

It sounds impressive; ‘… addresses the changing data capture environment by delivering the highest level of applications flexibility, without the usual penalty of performance degradation.’

But what does all that mean?

The key to powerful communication is to be SPECIFIC.

If your product delivers a 48% cost cut, don’t just say it will ‘cut costs’.  Say it will cut costs by 48%.  If customer surveys have shown that it cuts 21 days off delivery times, say so.  And go on to say that, for the average user, this translates into over $40,000 a year in savings from stock control efficiencies.  And that 27 of the users have attributed winning new contracts worth a collective $4.7 million because of their faster delivery times.

Can you see where I’m going with this?  Once you learn how to write in this compelling, benefit oriented way, you’ll truly revolutionise your communications.

You’ll win more business.  You’ll increase your profit margins.  You’ll begin to gain an unassailable hold on your niche market.  And your competitors will wonder what you’re doing.

Does that sound like something you’d like to take on board?  If it's made you feel that way, it’s because I simply did what the letter above failed to do.  I focused on what’s in this ... for YOU.

Simple, isn’t it?

If you want to learn a whole lot more about how to write amazing communication pieces, I've developed a complete writing e-program, 'Write and Design your own Ads, Sales Letters, Brochures, Flyers and Sales Presentations'. 

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